somebody mentioned in a recent topic that they had a conversation with a former elder whose breaking point was when the overlapping generation was highlighted in recent times and how he would never serve again until somebody gave him a scriptural reason to believe it.
i am in a similar position.
i have gone in the last 18 months from taking the wt study, leading fs groups, and doing talks on the mtngs to doing almost nothing, as i resigned a little over a year ago as an elder due to a combination of family responsibilities and huge doubts.
Truthlover123
I was disgusted with the money grab. I was accounts servant just before the big change and was so glad I handed it in to someone else before it was implemented. You say to back out slowly. So hard to do anything as I have been in for over 30 years and my wife is fully in even though she has missed many meetings due to health issues. Now I am viewed with bemusement and head scratching on the part of others as I don't fit into the pre-ordained pigeon holes.
i wondered why i felt so fatigued over many years from hearing the same things again and again at the meetings.
even the scriptures become too familiar.
a few days ago i quickly read through all the gospels and realised i knew all the verses in detail.
somebody mentioned in a recent topic that they had a conversation with a former elder whose breaking point was when the overlapping generation was highlighted in recent times and how he would never serve again until somebody gave him a scriptural reason to believe it.
i am in a similar position.
i have gone in the last 18 months from taking the wt study, leading fs groups, and doing talks on the mtngs to doing almost nothing, as i resigned a little over a year ago as an elder due to a combination of family responsibilities and huge doubts.
somebody mentioned in a recent topic that they had a conversation with a former elder whose breaking point was when the overlapping generation was highlighted in recent times and how he would never serve again until somebody gave him a scriptural reason to believe it.
i am in a similar position.
i have gone in the last 18 months from taking the wt study, leading fs groups, and doing talks on the mtngs to doing almost nothing, as i resigned a little over a year ago as an elder due to a combination of family responsibilities and huge doubts.
somebody mentioned in a recent topic that they had a conversation with a former elder whose breaking point was when the overlapping generation was highlighted in recent times and how he would never serve again until somebody gave him a scriptural reason to believe it.
i am in a similar position.
i have gone in the last 18 months from taking the wt study, leading fs groups, and doing talks on the mtngs to doing almost nothing, as i resigned a little over a year ago as an elder due to a combination of family responsibilities and huge doubts.
Somebody mentioned in a recent topic that they had a conversation with a former elder whose breaking point was when the overlapping generation was highlighted in recent times and how he would never serve again until somebody gave him a scriptural reason to believe it. I am in a similar position. I have gone in the last 18 months from taking the Wt study, leading fs groups, and doing talks on the mtngs to doing almost nothing, as I resigned a little over a year ago as an elder due to a combination of family responsibilities and huge doubts. The recent money grab and obey at all costs instructions have assured me that I did the right thing.
so today after my workout at the gym, i was driving away from the parking lot, notice 2 witnesses on the sidewalk with their witness cart, one older man with a young female, related?
not sure but as i drove away it finally hit me, all this buildup & staying strong since my awakening finally hit me .... just crying & saw my life flashing before my eyes just couldn't keep myself strong anymore, especially thinking of my child & other things happening in my life currently, which are hitting reality...... i came home & had a conversation with my son about our weekly mtgs, we have missed the ms mtgs for a few times/days in a row now, does anyone check on us?
... anyway i finally told him that for the time being mommy needs to figure out some things with god & jesus first & for the time being won't be making the ms mtgs & will be doing our bible study at home... thankfully he understands & just told him that god understands how i feel & is ok with it.... it's difficult to feel alone in this, i feel broken with the other things happening in my life, not wt or jw related, & just want to escape & run away, i don't have many friends & my non jw family is not a close family, we were never close, & i feel like i don't have anyone to talk to.... people that know me & interact with me have no clue the turmoil i'm going thru inside, i pretend like nothing is wrong with my life .
It is hard when you have to pretend everything is ok. When we started missing some meetings we did get one elder asking us if we were ok, but people don't really get it at all when you start to slow down.
You can be sure that you have friends here. We feel your pain and your turmoil. I think you will find the support you need here.
i'm reaching out here, i've known ttatt for about 3-4 years now.
sadly when i first grasped it i had a total mental breakdown as i was a hard core firm to the core pioneer and 110% believer of my faith.!
now nearly 2years on after my breakdown i still have to attend to please my jw wife.
i just heard this a few minutes ago by a jw friend who is still an elder in my old hall.
the kingdom hall i used to attend and my mom still attends was paid off many years ago and serves about 6 congregations.
one of the english congregations has a lot of financially well of members.
when one leaves the religion and fades it starts to become obvious that they move on with out you but this is not enough for them so they also marginalize you, loose respect for you etc.
they even tell stories about you.
example my wife talking to my mother tells her that i now believe aliens came to this planet and created man.
my wife has recently become very curious about my activity on my ipad.
i delete my browsing history but if she should discover this site and my identity here, she will gladly hand me over to the hangman, something i have managed to avoid for quite some time now,.
i hit the "sign out" button, but i find that i'm still logged in!
My wife also often asks me "what are you reading on your tablet?" She suspects that my recent expressions of doubt about various things WT may be connected to what I am reading but she hasn't come right out and said it directly.
